The Choice

My fear crouched in the corners of my consciousness,

Like a wild tiger ready to strike as soon as I turned my attention away. 

It commanded my diligence and awareness even as I pushed it as far away as I could. 

I told myself everything was fine. 

I wasn't "scared" and I continued living as though I had no fear. 

I was fine and would thrive no matter what, right...? 

Keeping my fear trapped and yet able to leap out of its cage at any opportunity actually meant

I was the one in the cage. 

Even when I thought I had the key.

There are many people, things, and places I love dearly that have been controlled by the wild tiger. 

This fear of loss is an uncertainty of what life would be like on the other side of it. 

It swam freely through my subconscious.

It seeped into the edges of my conscious thoughts. 

It colored the way I saw things and the risks I was willing to take,

Even the ones completely in alignment with myself. 

Because when I asked, what do I have to lose, the answer was ready to strike.  

All that I love...

My safety and security...

My sense of self...

My life...

I've met this tiger head on. 

I've turned and confronted her. 

I've asked her who she is and what she is doing for me. 

She showed me she is my protector and that she will do anything to keep me safe. 

Woah... And I thought she was trying to consume me. 

She showed me that she has consumed me at points in my life. 

That her will appeared greater than my higher self.  

That my consciousness took on a darker hue affecting my mental, emotional, and physical bodies,

And ate away at my health and sense of self. 

I had allowed the tiger to start dismantling everything I was so fearful of losing.

So when I finally experienced the tremendous loss I thought I could never survive...

I did...

And when I found myself alive on the other side,

I knew I could never go back to the life I had. 

And I didn't want to... 

I chose to live.

I chose to make friends with the tiger. 

I declared my sovereignty and that the realm of my life would be ruled with love. 

I told the tiger that her services are valuable, and she is a part of me. 

I do not deny her passion to protect me,

While at the same time I embrace my higher self and my soul's desires. 

I choose alignment with my higher self whenever I feel fear begin to consume me. 

And then I choose it again and again and again. 

Over and over as many times as I need to. 

As frequently as I can I clear the lower frequency energies that can stealthily put me back in the cage,

and give the wild tiger the key. 

It's a practice, and it's a joyful one. 

Over time my experience has become so vivid, so abundant and full of love. 

And when the wild tiger assumes her attack position,

I acknowledge her and the triggers in myself. 

I bring the fear into the light. 

I see it for what it truly is, just trying to keep me safe. 

I thank the tiger for her services,

And I choose life. 

On my terms. 

With love. 

Because I prefer freedom over a cage of my own making.